Lost

Have u ever felt lost in all its complete sense.. Im feeling so nowadays.. Career wise I have no idea wat at present Im doing.. Im not good at my job.. I wanted to do something else but I cant do that too.. And frankly I dont give a fuck bout my current job.. Sometimes I think I shud quit and do nothing but then money comes into play.. Now as far as my personal life is concerned, I have a few very good frnds who care bout me a lot but I still feel lonely.. My family is the best one can ask for but still I dont care bout them as much as I shud..
Now a few mnths ago I met a girl and now we r very good frnds.. She is very happy with her boyfrnd but then I feel that somewhere Im scared that our frndship will not be as good as it used to be.. This happens in a relationship.. Nothing lasts forever.. Watching people around me and analising myself I feel that I too shud have a relationship.. And sometimes I feel I cant be someones boyfrnd.. Its too much of a pain to love someone.. I felt for someone for bout a yr but she doesnt feel nothing bout me.. I mean how cold can anyone be.. Oh forget it.. Now I think that one shud not get attached to someone that it hurts later.. I am attached to my frnds so much that I feel possesive when they hang around with their boyfrnds.. I know this is not right.. I also feel that due to me my frnd and her boyfrnd get less time to spend with each other.. I shud stop hanging out with her..

I feel too many things.. I think these things.. I have let my heart break more than a couple of times now.. Sometimes I feel like shit.. Of no importance.. Basically I dont know wat I want out of relationship or life.. I guess Im the most dumb person alive whose existence doesnt matter to anyone..

Fuck this.. Life is fucked up.. Life is full of shit.. I tell myself "Get a life dude"..